Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Week That Will Be (10.10.09)


Last Week: 4-2 ATS 5-1 SU
For the Year: 10-19-1 (.345) ($1090) ATS 18-12 (.600) SU


What we learned last week:

We learned that according to Lou Holtz, Jimmy Clausen is the best quarterback in America, even though he has yet to beat a team with a winning record this year, and needed some help from the officials to beat Washington. How this guy earns a paycheck from “The Worldwide Leader in Sports” is beyond me. It would be akin to Barack Obama being named the head of the 2016 Chicago Olympics bid….

We learned that apparently the town leaders from Footloose are SEC officials, but Georgia has nobody to blame for that one but themselves. LSU gave up points in bunches last season, and gave up 23 to Washington and 26 to Mississippi State this year, two teams that won’t be confused for the New Orleans Saints anytime soon….

We learned that even the great Monte Kiffin can’t stop the Gus Malzahn offense. Auburn put up 459 yards on the Volunteers, but the schedule only gets tougher for Auburn. They still have games with LSU, Mississippi, Georgia and Alabama left on the slate….

We learned that once again that California is a fraud. We were willing to give them the benefit of the doubt after getting stomped in Oregon, but giving up 72 points and scoring 6 in the past two weeks against Pac-10 powers can’t be good for the long term prospects of Jeff Tedford. For such an offensive genius tag that he gets, Kevin Riley is no better of a quarterback than when he first stepped on campus…

We learned that speaking of frauds, we can go ahead and include Texas A&M in that category, as well. They made Arkansas look like a SEC power last week instead of the team that got walloped by Alabama the week before. Jerrod Johnson is good, but I think we can stop with the Heisman talk for now, and focus on beating an actual good team for now……

And finally we learned that Oklahoma has bigger problems than Sam Bradford being out of action. Landry Jones was very pedestrian on Saturday, but he threw for 62 yards on the first drive and then had 126 of the game. The coaches were conservative, the running game was ineffective at only 3.6 yards per carry and the defense intercepted Jacory Harris twice, but gave up 150 yards rushing to Javarris James and allowed Harris to throw for 3 touchdowns. This team used to have swagger, and it still does, but only against the Idaho States and Tulsas of the world. You can no longer go into a stadium and be up 14-0 just because your name is Oklahoma, Bob…

Anyhow…

This week Big 12 play begins in earnest, so let’s take a look at how the Big 12 is shaping up a month into the college football season, using the hierarchy of Big 12 quarterbacks to divide up the haves from the have nots…

The Cody Hawkins Division

Colorado: The Buffs enter Big 12 play at 1-3, with their best “win” a closer than expected loss at West Virginia last Thursday night. Cody Hawkins is completing 52.4% of his passes, which is good enough for 27th in the Big 12. Read that again. Yes, there are guys with 1 or 2 pass attempts included in those rankings, but at least those teams are smart enough not to have Hawkins throw the ball 52 times in a game, like Hawkins did last week at West Virginia. This is the worst case of nepotism since Fredo Corleone was given control of Las Vegas.

Iowa State: Just above Hawkins in the completion percentage rankings is Iowa State quarterback Austen Arnaud, who has completed 53% of his passes, and the sad part is doesn’t have his job because of daddy coaching the football team, rather he has it because Gene Chizik couldn’t recruit a quarterback who could hit a cornfield from the highway. And that got him the job at Auburn. Wait, what? Now they have a coach who can’t even spell “Rhodes” right, Paul Rhoades.

Kansas State: The Wildcats tried to bring the magic back by hiring Bill Snyder to coach the team, and what could go wrong, his name is on the stadium? Well the problem is he forgot to bring back Michael Bishop (who is probably available, now that I think about it), and the Wildcats lost to Louisiana-Lafayette earlier this year. They do hold impressive wins over Massachusetts and Tennessee Tech this year, which might help them in the Elo-Chess rankings, and by Elo-Chess I mean the actual game of chess, not football. K-State is another team at the bottom of the conference stuck with a bad quarterback, as Carson Coffman sounds like the name of a detective on a 1970’s cop show…look for Snyder to retire again very soon.

The Jerrod Johnson Division

Baylor: To be fair, the Bears would be higher if Robert Griffin wasn’t out for the year with a knee injury. We don’t have a really good feel for back-up quarterbacks Nick Florence or Blake Szymanski except that you have to look back and forth to make sure you have spelled SZYMANSKI correct every time you type it. SZYMANSKI (copy and paste) did throw for 400 yards three times in 2007, but unfortunately those three opponents were Colorado, Rice and Texas State, not exactly the teams they need to leapfrog in the Big 12. The Bears do have some talent on offense and their defense is improved, but their chance to move up the ladder in the Big 12 South was lost when Griffin was lost.

Texas A&M: Mike Sherman brought years of NFL experience to College Station, and then with one losing season he ditched all of that, consulted a high school coach on how to run his offense, and has now lost by 30 points to an average Arkansas team. Progress. Jerrod Johnson is nice, as are some other players on that team, but the defense is awful, Sherman inspires nobody, and fan apathy is high. The Aggies at some point need to start showing some progress, or Baylor will pass them very soon in the power rankings.

Texas Tech: Texas Tech was mired in controversy last week, struggled with New Mexico for a half, and things looked very dire when Taylor Potts left the game with a concussion, but Steven Sheffield saved the day and the Red Raiders cruised. Still, this has the feel of a disjointed team, with the locker room like an episode of Melrose Place, but unfortunately it is the new MP, not the old one. So much for the “BEST SEASON EVER.”

The Zac Lee Division

Missouri: Many expected Missouri to fall off the map after Chase Daniel took his booger eating to the NFL, but Blaine Gabbert stepped right in and picked (ahem) up right where he left off. Sure, they haven’t played anybody, but they’re still relevant, which is better than pre-Daniel territory.

Nebraska: This Nebraska team is on the rise, and unlike some recent teams that have done it all on offense, the Cornhuskers lead the nation in scoring defense, only giving up 28 points all season. Sure, their best opponent has been an up and down Virginia Tech team, but Bo Pelini seems to have things turned in the right direction up there. Now if he can just ditch the 1990’s sweatshirt that he likes to wear. Of course if you have been to Lincoln you understand that fashion sense isn’t high on the priority list. Nice town, great folks, but damn.

Kansas: The Jayhawks have a talented trio of Reesing, Briscoe and Meier, but unfortunately they don’t play defense, and Kansas can’t give up 28 points to Southern Miss and realistically expect to go anywhere this year. And is it me, or does Mangino get bigger every year? This guy could be a whole team on The Biggest Loser.

The Zac Robinson Division

Oklahoma State: The fall-off in production (the Cowboys are 29th in total offense this year; they were 4th in the country this time last year) is to be expected with the loss of….wait, OSU didn’t lose anybody. What the hell? The Cowboys are missing the explosive plays from last year, and yes, there have been some injuries, but things just don’t seem right up there, and the defense is giving up passing yards in bunches. This is one of those teams you still watch out for, but that trip to Stillwater on Halloween night looks a lot easier for Texas, especially if Dez Bryant is still suspended.

Oklahoma: Oklahoma, where the karma comes sweepin’ down the plain… We all remember 2008, where the Sooners ran it up on everyone when they got the chance and they got into the Big 12 championship game and the national championship game on a ridiculous Big 12 rule that somehow still exists to this day. Well, enter 2009, where Sam Bradford, Jermaine Gresham, Ryan Broyles, Juaquin Iglesias and Manuel Johnson are either out injured or graduated, and it is easy to see why the Sooners have struggled against every team not located in Pocatello, Idaho or a Tulsa team that is, well, Tulsa. The Sooners still have plenty of talent, but right now they are missing the playmakers and the swagger that great teams have, so this year they’ll have to settle for being a good team.

The Colt McCoy Division

Texas: It is pretty clear that Texas deserves its own division when you rank the Big 12 teams, they have performed that much better than the rest of the teams in the conference. For all of the nitpicking about the close game against Texas Tech and the slow start in Wyoming, the Longhorns still have a healthy margin of victory (Florida and Texas are 1 and 2 in margin of victory this year), and can still say they haven’t reached their potential. The running game is always in flux, but if they can find a consistent threat back there, watch out, this team could get the Big 12 title and much more.

FACEBOOK NEWS FEED

Bobby Bowden I’m about to turn 80, and my team is about #80 in the FBS power rankings. What a coincidence!

Turner Gill is wondering why he didn’t take another job and get the hell out of Buffalo while I had the chance.

Erin Andrews one creep down, 3,323,608,138 to go. Oh hell, I forgot about the lesbians and bis. I’m screwed.

Pete Carroll wrote on Mark Sanchez’s Wall: “I told you you shouldn’t have come out!”

Kenny Vaccaro You call THAT a FOUL?

Jesus has joined the group “Tim Tebow Fan Club.”

Tate Forcier I’m not the next Tim Tebow….yet.
Houston is ah, hell, keep the helmets. It isn’t like we tackle anyone anyways.

Mike Price let’s celebrate! We’re going to Juarez and taking the UTEP credit card with us!

On to the games...

Alabama -5.5 @ Mississippi:

This is Jevan Snead’s chance at redemption in the minds of college football fans and more importantly NFL scouts, but the fact is he isn’t having a great year, and will have to have his best game to beat Alabama. Not a good match-up for a struggling quarterback.

Alabama is due for a letdown game, but this won’t be it. This has been an insanely close series, with the last 4 games being decided by 13 points, but the Tide roll.

Alabama 28 Mississippi 21
ATS – Alabama
SU – Alabama

Oregon -3.5 @ UCLA:

It doesn’t look like Oregon QB Jeremiah Masoli will be able to play this week, leaving Oregon about even with UCLA, who doesn’t have a quarterback worth a damn on its roster.

I could be going out on a limb here, but this game looks like a trap to me. Oregon has rolled ever since the Boise State game, but that was also their last road game. Give me the Bruins in a close one.

UCLA 24 Oregon 21
ATS – UCLA
SU – UCLA

Florida -7.5 @ LSU:

Will he or won’t he? The question around Gainesville this week isn’t whether Tim Tebow can split the Red Sea, but whether he will play this week against LSU.

It looks like a tough match-up either way for the Gators, who haven’t been road tested much lately, unless you count a trip to Kentucky as scary.

This one hinges on two things. 1.) Can LSU stop Florida’s rushing attack? The Gators rank #1 in the country in rushing, but LSU only gave up 45 yards rushing to Georgia last week; and 2.) Is Jordan Jefferson good enough to beat Florida? Jefferson doesn’t have to be JaMarcus Russell, but he needs to be a difference maker in order to beat a team like Florida.

Tebow or not, this one should be a good one in Death Valley at night, but I don’t have the confidence in Jefferson to say he can beat Florida just yet.

Florida 27 LSU 24
ATS – LSU
SU – Florida

Nebraska -3.5 @ Missouri:

Nebraska is the tested team here. They damn near beat Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, a feat that not many have done this decade. Missouri, meanwhile, looked impressive in beating Illinois to start the year, but they folded so we’re really not sure how good Missouri is after they beat up on the little sisters of the poor in Bowling Green, Furman and Nevada.

I hate to go against the home underdog on Thursday, but I think this Nebraska team is better than Mizzou, and will show it here.

Nebraska 31 Missouri 21
ATS – Nebraska
SU – Nebraska

Baylor @ Oklahoma -25.5:

This one was looking a little sexy a couple of weeks ago when it looked like it was going to be Landry Jones vs. Robert Griffin. But Griffin is now out for the year, Bradford might play, and Baylor is back to being Baylor.

Oklahoma 45 Baylor 17
ATS – Oklahoma
SU – Oklahoma

Colorado @ Texas -32.5:

This one will be a tune-up for the Texas defense, which will see a “downhill” running game for the first time this year and will help prepare for the Oklahoma and Oklahoma State games later this month.

Unfortunately for Colorado, they will also get run out of the house. This has the potential to be 2005 Big 12 CG ugly.
Texas 52 Colorado 10
ATS – Texas
SU – Texas

Random Hot Dallas Chick

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For entertainment purposes only. Save your money for Dillo Dirt to throw at OU fans.

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