Six NBA Predictions - 2009 Edition (Obvious Non-Football Post)

This is a football blog and I intend to keep it that way, but if I'm going to run ESPN8 with Bill Simmons one day I need to get this out there...we'll be back to football tomorrow.

This is the fourth edition in this series. Last year I hit on my completely out of nowhere, only analyst in America pick of the Los Angeles Lakers to win the NBA title*, so let's hope for the same success this year.

* completely fabricated

1.) The Los Angeles Lakers will win the Western Conference Title. They won the title easily last year, and added Ron Artest, what could go wrong? Unless Ron Artest murders Kobe Bryant, which I've heard the LM Hotel and Casino has at 75-1 odds this year? Or Khloe Kardashian writes a tell-all memoir about her 3 month marriage to Lamar Odom which sinks the Lakers after the All-Star break (85-1)? The Lakers didn't add anyone else, but Jordan Farmar continues to improve, Derek Fisher never ages, and Andrew Bynum is bound to hit is full potential one of these years.

2.) The Cleveland Cavaliers will win the Eastern Conference. The Cavs swept through the first two rounds of the playoffs last year (4 months ago), ring sizes were being taken and Laura Miller had the parade route drawn up, and then the Cavs forgot to win 4 games against Orlando. So the Cavs responded by going out and acquiring Shaquille O'Neal, completely forgetting that this is 2009 and not 1999, but Shaq should be able to provide a nice punch like he did for Phoenix at times last year, and will step in when the annual foot breakage of Zydrunas Ilgauskas occurs.

3.) LeBron James wins the MVP Award. I know I'm really going out on a limb with these predictions, but sometimes you have to live on the edge. LeBron has to be pissed about how last year ended, so he's going to wreck shop this year. Kobe might challenge him for it, but then again Kobe might be in a chalk outline sometime in January.

4.) Kevin Durant and the OKC Thunder make the playoffs.

Western Conference

1. Los Angeles: Easy street until June
2. San Antonio: Blair might have been a bigger pick-up than Jefferson
3. Denver: If they stay out of jail.
4. Dallas: Kidd and Marion should provide some dunks not seen in Dallas since Spud Webb in the All-Star game, but let's hope nobody breaks a hip.
5. Portland: Andre Miller already bitching, but this is the year Brandon Roy goes from really good to superstar
6. New Orleans: Chandler for Okafor is a trade your fantasy buddies would laugh at you about for the next 4 years
7. Utah: They keep trying to trade their best player Boozer, will probably trade him to the Lakers for Ron Artest's expiring jail sentence.
8. Oklahoma City: Might be too soon to put them here, but you need to take some risks in life.

Eastern Conference

1. Cleveland: With LeBron and Shaq, the Cavs should lead the league in antics.
2. Boston: Adding Rasheed Wallace was a great move, if this is 2004. If not, the Celtics will have to start games at 2:00 to beat the rush to Luby's.
3. Orlando: I hate letting Turkoglu go, Vince Carter is trash, and they're paying $34 million to a back-up center. Other than that, I love them.
4. Chicago: Just to piss Ben off. And Derek Rose should start for the Eastern Conference at PG this year.
5. Atlanta: Enough talent to contend for the division, just need to put it together at some point.
6. Miami: Dwyane Wade takes this team on his shoulders, and then leaves the court on a wheelchair when those shoulders start hurting.
7. Philadelphia: The old uniforms are back, hopefully Elton Brand is as well.
8. Charlotte: The year of DJ Augustin. Maybe.

5.) Tyreke Evans wins the Rookie of the Year. The rookie has been the rage of training camp in Sacramento, but that could be because the Kings have little else and there is nothing to do in Sacramento. But the Kings will average at least 90 ppg this year, and somebody has to score when Kevin Martin does not.

6.) The Los Angeles Lakers win the NBA title. If Kobe lives until June.