The Week That Will Be (BCS Bowl Edition)

Last Week: 0-0-1 ATS 1-0 SU
For the Year: 39-43-3 (.476) ($830) ATS 60-25 (.706) SU

The turkey is devoured, you’ve had ham sandwiches for a record five days in a row, you nearly killed someone returning the horrid sweater that your grandmother bought you, you’re about tired of hearing Jingle Bells and if you haven’t taken your tree down yet you’re thinking about just placing a tarp over it and seeing if anyone notices for the next 11 months.

Christmas is behind us, New Year’s Eve, also known as Amateur Hour, is tomorrow night, and finally, we have water in the desert.

Football that doesn’t suck is on the horizon.

I don’t know about you, but I’m still trying to figure out how going to Boise, Idaho in late December is a “reward” for a great season. I’m still trying to figure out how a proud program like USC ended their season on a baseball diamond with the very tricked-up both teams on one sideline alignment.

I’m wondering if the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl has it written in the contract that the announcers for the game must refer to the game as the full name at all times (and if it is not, it should be). I’m trying to figure out why we have two bowls named after pizza companies, and how long it will be until we have the Dominoes Pizza bowl live from Oklahoma City and the Pizza Hut Bowl from Waco, Texas.

I’m wondering why the International Bowl is later than the Rose Bowl, and why the GMAC Bowl gets a spot on the eve of the national championship game. I’m wondering what the hell “Roady’s” is, and how the Cotton Bowl isn’t played in the Cotton Bowl anymore. I’m also aghast on why there are only five bowl games on January 1st, and how the Alamo Bowl crept up from crap bowl to prime slot bowl overnight.

I’m wondering how people can say the bowl system is fine when 28,000 people were sick enough to watch UCLA and Temple fight it out at RFK Stadium, and how Florida can be on the hook for 5,000 tickets that their fans hadn’t bought as of last week. I’m wondering why a bowl game is on the NFL Network, and when the hell every single dispute between a broadcast company and a cable company will not include Time Warner Cable.

I’m wondering why Orlando and San Antonio have stadiums that nobody plays in regularly, but each one has managed to get a prime slot bowl. I’m wondering why Fresno State, Southern Miss, Oregon State, Nevada and Ohio made my bowl pool look like Lou Holtz’s weekly pick ‘em, and why when it is 40 degrees and windy as hell there are actually people in the stands in Las Vegas and not in the casinos.

I’m wondering if OU fans were really scared to go to El Paso, or if they were really scared to get their ass beat in a bowl game again, and I’m wondering why the PapaJohns.com bowl isn’t just the Papa Johns Bowl and why it isn’t played at Papa Johns Stadium in Louisville and is instead played at Legion Field in Birmingham, which I swear read was scheduled for demolition here soon.

I’m wondering when the bowl committee for the Insight Bowl finally got smart enough to move their game from the Arizona Diamondbacks’ baseball field to Sun Devil Stadium, and why anyone in America thinks that a 10 AM football game on January 1st is a good idea at all.

I’m wondering why the International Bowl doesn’t have a sponsor at all (I’m not really wondering, it is because nobody likes the damn foreigners) and I’m wondering why AT&T doesn’t sponsor the Emerald Bowl at AT&T Park.

I’m wondering if Land Shark and Oranges are really a good combination, and for that matter, if anyone will actually take the time out of their lives to watch Georgia Tech and Iowa if they’re not involved in a bowl pool or reside in the states of Georgia and Iowa.

But most of all, I’m just wondering when January 7th is finally going to get here, because none of these other bowls really matter at all.

Thirty-four bowls, and one of them matters. Nice job, NCAA.

FACEBOOK STATUS MESSAGES

Adam James is wandering around in the dark, trying to find a damn light switch.

Craig James has joined the group I Destroy FBS Programs.

Texas fans are thankful for Mack Brown.

Urban Meyer was almost late for practice because I couldn’t decide which pair of khakis to wear.

Heart Problems have joined the group Things Urban Meyer Shrugs Off Like Dandruff.

Michigan State is really glad that this Leach stuff happened. Maybe now nobody will notice that half of our football team was suspended.

The Alamo Bowl son of a bitch.

Mike Sherman it is hell motivating your team to play more than once a year. You try it, dammit.

Jerrod Johnson I like red. I throw the ball to red jerseys. Sue me.

Nevada Football Dude. We just got our ass kicked by SMU. SMH

On to the games...

The Sun Bowl: Stanford v. Oklahoma -10:

We are coming to you LIVE from El Paso, Texas, where dudes get lucky on the mountain tops and the banditos across the border aren’t so lucky these days. None of this matters to the outcome of the game, but what does matter is that Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck will dress for the game, but will not start, and sure as hell doesn’t sound healthy.

Toby Gerhart will find it to be tough sledding against Gerald McCoy and crew, and Oklahoma should, I said, should, come out on top here. But Small Game Bob has it tough outside of Norman and past Christmas, so you never know.

Oklahoma 31 Stanford 14
ATS – Oklahoma
SU – Oklahoma

The Cotton Bowl: Mississippi -3 v. Oklahoma State:

What? This game isn’t against Grambling State? Well take Oklahoma State’s opponent then, who happens to be Mississippi, who showed last year that bowl games mean something to up and coming programs, unlike Oklahoma State, who got embarrassed in the Holiday Bowl.

The only problem I see here is if Jevan Snead starts throwing to the other team, which is always a distinct possibility, but could be dangerous with Perrish Cox patrolling the other secondary.

Mississippi 34 Oklahoma State 27
ATS – Mississippi
SU – Mississippi

The Orange Bowl: Iowa v. Georgia Tech -4:

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Georgia Tech 38 Iowa 17
ATS – Georgia Tech
SU – Georgia Tech

The Rose Bowl: Ohio State v. Oregon -4.5:

So we find out this week that Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor has been playing with a torn ligament in his knee, which sounds a hell of a lot more abusive than locking a player in a shed, er, equipment room, but whatever, Sweater Vest Man is untouchable, we get it.

This one will hinge on whether or not Ohio State can stop the Oregon running game. If Oregon is able to call their rushing yardage, they win big, but if Ohio State keeps them in check, then Jeremiah Masoli probably isn’t good enough to beat OSU through the air.

I think Oregon’s running game wins out.

Oregon 28 Ohio State 17
ATS – Oregon
SU – Oregon

The Sugar Bowl: Cincinnati v. Florida -13.5:

Cincinnati is led onto the field by head coach Brian Kelly, who lead them to an undefeated season….what? Kelly left for Notre Dame. Hmm. Okay.

Florida is led by head coach Urban Meyer, and it will be “Win One For the Gipper” as Myer has announced he is stepping down due to health reasons….what? Hmm. Weird.

Awkward!

Anyhow, give me Florida and 3/4 of a heart Myer over Cincinnati and whoever the hell their coach is these days.

Florida 41 Cincinnati 20
ATS – Florida
SU – Florida

The Fiesta Bowl: Boise State v. TCU -7.5:

The Fiesta Bowl gets the Poinsettia Bowl’s sloppy seconds, as Boise State and TCU meet for the second straight bowl season, this one in a bowl overrated because the team’s conferences each get millions of dollars while the schools will probably finish in the red for the trip after they pay for everyone and their dog to get to Arizona.

Welcome to the big-time, guys!

I’m wondering how the big lay-off and the disappointment of not being selected for say, the Sugar Bowl will do to TCU’s psyche. They were one of the hottest teams in the country, but then they had to take final exams so we had to take a 40 day break so they could do that.

TCU wins, but Boise has been here before and keeps it close.

TCU 31 Boise State 28
ATS – Boise State
SU – TCU

Random Hot Dallas Chick



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Coming Tuesday: The Week That Will Be: BCS National Championship Edition