For the Year: 39-43-2 (.476) ($830) ATS 59-25 (.702) SU
What we learned last week:
We learned that a duck can crowd surf, and that Jeremiah Masoli and LaMichael James will likely have Oregon a pre-season Top 5 next year…
We learned that Houston might be the most maddening team of 2009. They didn’t appear to be too interested in the Conference USA title…
We learned that Cincinnati can beat Pittsburgh because Pitt misses an extra point, but you still have people with college degrees saying that they belong in the championship game besides Texas…
We learned that CJ Spiller can run for 233 yards, rush for 4 touchdowns and Tim Tebow still gets invited to New York for the Heisman ceremony over him. Perhaps if his team didn’t lose five games he might have a chance…
We learned that Tim Tebow’s tears do not cure all diseases, they only serve to make him look like an idiot on national television. We are one game away from never hearing his name again, America, hold tight…
And finally, we learned that Colt McCoy might not know the rules of college football, but Hunter Lawrence will forever go down in Texas lore.
Anyhow…
Well sadly the end of the college football regular season is upon us, so our Saturdays are now full of Xavier/Temple basketball games (yuck), dog shows, bowling and FCS playoff games (these kids don’t have class?). We of course have plenty of bowl games to look forward to, if you want to call it that, but before that, we must give away our awards for the 2009 season:
Chuck Bednarik Award
Finalists: Terrence Cody, Brandon Spikes, Ndamukong Suh
My Winner: Suh. Cody might win a wings eating contest, and last I checked you don’t get awards for gouging someone’s eyes out, so Suh takes it. But it is every bit deserved, of course, as Suh was seen on the Texas campus this week sacking Colt McCoy on his way to class.
Biletnikoff Award
Finalists: Freddie Barnes, Jordan Shipley, Golden Tate
My Winner: Shipley. Barnes has the stats, but Bowling Green plays the equivalent of a high school schedule. Tate has the hype, but c’mon, take Tate away and Notre Dame still goes 6-6. Shipley is the best receiver on an undefeated team, and he can catch a ball while riding on a boat. C’mon.
Walter Camp Award
Finalists: Mark Ingram, Case Keenum, Colt McCoy, Ndamukong Suh, Tim Tebow
My Winner: Suh. He could probably run for governor and I’d vote for him at this point.
Lou Groza Award
Finalists: Kai Forbath, Leigh Tiffin, Blair Walsh
My Winner: Hunter Lawrence. I don’t care who the finalists are, Colt McCoy needs to go Kanye at the awards show in Orlando and snatch it from Tiffin and give it to Hunter. Was there a bigger kick all year?
Lombardi Award
Finalists: Terrence Cody, Jerry Hughes, Gerald McCoy, Ndamukong Suh
My Winner: Suh. I’m officially scared not to give it to him at this point.
Maxwell Award
Finalists: Mark Ingram, Colt McCoy, Tim Tebow
My Winner: McCoy. The all-time winningest quarterback should have at least one individual award, right?
Davey O’Brien Award
Finalists: Case Keenum, Colt McCoy, Tim Tebow
My Winner: McCoy. Keenum can’t beat UTEP & UCF, McCoy did.
Outland Trophy
Finalists: Mike Iupati, Russell Okung, Ndamukong Suh
My Winner: Suh. What have we learned here, besides to win the Outland you have to have a name nobody can pronounce? We’re not going to piss off Suh. I’m sure my address is somewhere on the Internet, and I’m not taking any chances.
Rimington Trophy
Finalists: A bunch of other guys, Chris Hall
My Winner: The bunch of other guys. Chris Hall should just give the trophy to Suh if he should win it. He gave him everything else on Saturday night.
Jim Thorpe Award
Finalists: Eric Berry, Joe Haden, Earl Thomas
My Winner: Thomas. Thomas was the only one of the trio to score a touchdown this year, and Thomas scored two of them. Add up Berry’s and Haden’s interceptions, and then add two to that, and you have the number of interceptions that Thomas had this season. And oh yeah, Haden’s quarterback cries during games. He’s out.
Doak Walker Award
Finalists: Toby Gerhart, Mark Ingram, CJ Spiller
My Winner: Gerhart. Thus becoming the first white guy to win the award since Luke Staley in 2001, who just won the NFL’s rushing title…no? This is the first time you’ve heard Luke Staley’s name since 2001? Me too.
The Heisman Trophy
Finalists: Mark Ingram, Toby Gerhart, Colt McCoy, Ndamukong Suh, Tim Tebow
My Winner: Suh. Seriously, there should be alert levels that Suh is in town.
FACEBOOK STATUS MESSAGES
Bo Pelini’s Poker Buddies are not surprised.
The Fiesta Bowl enjoys The Poinsettia Bowl’s sloppy seconds.
Urban Meyer how am I supposed to win a SEC title with a crybaby quarterback?
Pete Carroll thinks Tiger Woods needs about 10 more mistresses so people will not even care about our record this year.
Zac Lee is hopeful he doesn’t have to walk 10 yards to get to class because I’ll never get there.
On to the game...
Army v. Navy -14:
Army has won two in a row coming into this one….over VMI and North Texas. I wasn’t even aware VMI had a football team. But they do, and they lost to Army two weeks ago. Since “upsetting” Notre Dame, Navy has beaten Delaware and then somehow lost to Hawaii.
Navy has won seven in a row in this series, and since Ndamukong Suh isn’t playing Army, I’m not sure how they lose this game.
Navy 37 Army 17
ATS – Navy
SU – Navy
Random Hot Dallas Chick
Note From the Author: I’m going to be re-posting some classic editions of TWTWB to my blog site over the next couple of weeks (http://www.fridaynighttailgates.blogspot.com) so please keep an eye over there. I’ve got a lot of these saved up through the years, so we’ll look back and see how wrong I was even back then.
For entertainment purposes only. Save your money for national championship tickets.
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