The Week That Will Be (10.04.08)

Last Week: - 3-3 ATS 5-1 SU
For the Year: - 18-11-1 (.621) ($590) ATS 26-4 (.867) SU

What we learned last week: Auburn’s new spread offense is about as formidable as a August cold front, but I’m not really sure what that makes the abortion that is Tennessee football these days. Note to bettors the rest of the year, Auburn has to actually be able to score 6 points to be favored by 6…We learned that Mark Richt might be a fashion expert, but perhaps Georgia should have spent more time looking at film of Alabama and less time having fashion shows in the locker room. Alabama looks downright scary and has two road games the rest of the year (10/25 at Tennessee and 11/8 at LSU)…We learned that two of the nation’s best receivers actually reside in the skill position graveyard that is the Big 10. Penn State’s Derrick Williams and Illinois’s Arrelious Benn put on a show, and college football fans should take note of them for the rest of the year…We learned that Colorado can give up 259 yards rushing to a Florida State rushing attack that was last worth a damn when Warrick Dunn was on campus. West Virginia rushed for 311 the week before, leaving Texas fans drooling at the match-up…We learned that Oklahoma has no rushing attack this year (Demarco Murray doesn’t look the same coming off an injury), but it might not matter with Sam Bradford back there…And finally we learned that you can spend the day with friends, can drink some beers, can even watch some football, but nothing makes your day like kicking the crap out of Arkansas.

Anyhow…

The Big 12 finished the first month of the season with four teams in the Top 10, but as we turn the calendar to October we find ourselves entering conference play, so all of those teams get to beat up on each other. Who will rise to the top and meet in Kansas City? Who will fall to the bottom? Let’s find out…

THE DENNIS FRANCHIONE DIVISION

Iowa State Does anyone else think that Gene Chizik was bullied every day by the other members of the coaching staff and decided to take the first coaching job that came his way? Did the other coaches tie him to the goalposts and write funny comments on him? The Cyclones have no offense, no defense and no chance in hell of winning more than three games the rest of the way.

Texas A&M Oh the Aggies. It’s an embarrassment to Mack Brown’s coaching resume that he has lost to this team the last two years. The Aggies beat Army by 4 this weekend, prompting members of Texags.com to speculate that the Aggies didn’t want to embarrass Army so therefore kept the game close. I’m guessing that is what Aggies say what other teams in the country do to them. The Aggies have a somewhat easy schedule the rest of the way (they have the Iowa State/Kansas State/Colorado triumvirate out of the Big 12 North this year), but Mike Sherman looks well on his way to becoming the target of Aggie scorn in the not so distant future. And I think we all know that is not a good place to be, unless you enjoy milkmen and guys with tall boots and short haircuts giving you the finger all the time.

Baylor It’s been a while since Baylor has been the most respectable out of this group. And Baylor actually has a playmaker on offense, quarterback Robert Griffin. When is the last time that happened? And more importantly how did that happen? The same way Baylor is all of the sudden getting all of these top notch basketball recruits? Someone needs to check the players parking lot.

THE MARK MANGINO DIVISION

Kansas State What do these three teams have in common? They got a little fat and too happy and now are destined to fail. Who knows if Mangino is content, but the analogy sort of works so I’m going to run with it. Kansas State has started 3-1, but they are about due for their annual 6 game losing streak, but good for them they have the Aggies coming to town (great scheduling). And also good for them they tied up Ron Prince to a contract through 2012 at the beginning of this season. It was only a matter of time before Kent State came calling for a new coach.

Nebraska Who doesn’t hope that Bo Pelini can turn around this Cornhusker program? College football is just better when Nebraska is good, and their fans are perhaps the best in the sport. We can just do without the star running back throwing his girlfriend down the stairs bit this time. Which brings up the question, who do you think is doing better right now, Lawrence Phillips or Ray Pruitt? Pruitt did come back and play the Peach Pit After Dark and had a wife though, so my money is on him. And Thunder Collins would probably kill them both.

Colorado The Buffs are showing signs of life, but they don’t really do anything that well. In fact their only reputation is having the worst fans in the Big 12, which seemed to work out for Motley Crue, but not so much for a football team. And hey, the coaches son plays quarterback, so you just know there is nobody better for the job out there than him.

THE MIKE LEACH DIVISION

Kansas Have you heard a damn thing about the Jayhawks this year? Are we sure they’ve played a game? About the only thing I heard was when they lost to South Florida, but hey who doesn’t do that. Kansas isn’t quite as good as they were last year, and that will cost them down the stretch where they play at Oklahoma and have Texas and Texas Tech at home. Probably just as well anyhow, the Jayhawk fans don’t need to be bothered during basketball season two years in a row.

Oklahoma State One of these years Oklahoma State is going to put it all together and have a team that actually makes it to a decent bowl. This might be the year, as the Cowboys have the #1 rushing attack in the country and a very efficient Zac Robinson under center. The Cowboys do get Missouri, Texas Tech and Texas on the road, which is not only not good for season ticket sales but also not good for your football team. Okay maybe this isn’t the year.

Texas Tech Hey you remember that Tech team that could score a bunch of points but also gave up a bunch of points? Yeah.

THE PETE CARROLL DIVISON

Texas I said this earlier in the week, but if Texas wins their next three games (@ Colorado, Oklahoma in Dallas and Missouri at home) they could be staring #1 in the face with the “tough” part of their schedule done. And we of course all hope that Colt McCoy keeps up his Heisman-like play, but I’m rubbing my hands together just to see what excuse Texas fans could give for not giving Greg Davis any credit on this one, too.

Missouri Okay Missouri you can wake up at any moment now. Chase Daniel is great, but he’s not going to be able to help a defense that is currently ranked 79th in the country. When the Tigers play teams that can score with them (Nebraska, Oklahoma State and Texas are next up, and they can all put up points), they might have some trouble. We’ve seen this formula before, and it usually doesn’t work.

Oklahoma The Sooners have been great (averaging 49.75 points per game while allowing 13) but you have to wonder if their running game will catch up to them at some point. The Sooners have also given up some passing yards, but a good defensive line and Bradford at quarterback have been enough to shore that up. Wait, are we sure we’re not talking about Texas here?

Facebook Status Messages

Mark Richt is burning his laundry.

Les Miles has made a pact with Satan.

Pete Carroll is trying to get Oregon State out of the Pac-10.

Kirk Ferentz is now friends with Greg Schiano and Vincent Chase.

Greg Robinson and Dave Wannestedt have joined the group Defense Coordinators, not Head Coaches.

Jevan Snead has written on Urban Meyer’s Wall: “Boo-yah!”

The Florida State/Miami Game is now friends with The Notre Dame/Michigan Game.

Leonard Ledford is no longer in a relationship with Scholz Beer Garten.

Todd Dodge is wondering if Southlake Carroll would have him back.

Matt Craig is now engaged to Robbi Driggers.

On to the games...

Auburn -4.5 @ Vanderbilt:

Wait, how in the hell did Vanderbilt get into this column? Is this a chess match? What? They are 4-0 with wins over Mississippi and South Carolina? What the hell…

Vandy is 4-0 because they’re #1 in the nation in turnover margin. They intercepted Jevan Snead four times and forced two more fumbles against Mississippi, and they forced South Carolina to turn the ball over three times.

Now is that because they are being opportunistic, because they have a hard hitting defense, or because they have been a bit lucky?

The (what the hell is Vanderbilt’s mascot???) haven’t been 5-0 since Adolf Hitler was ruling Germany. Something tells me it isn’t going to happen this year, either.

Auburn 14 Vanderbilt 7
ATS – Auburn
SU – Auburn

Ohio State -2.5 @ Wisconsin:

Wisconsin somehow blew a 19 point lead last week to Michigan, who is about as likely to make a comeback as Gene Upshaw, while Ohio State bored us all to death last week against Minnesota.

These two teams might as well be playing to see is more overrated, and I like Wisconsin at home…at night.

Wisconsin 23 Ohio State 17
ATS – Wisconsin
SU – Wisconsin

Oregon @ USC -16.5:

There is one thing Pete Carroll does not do…beat Oregon State in Corvalis. Kidding. No, it’s lose two games in a row. Oregon is the sacrificial lamb, and at this point they might have an actual lamb playing quarterback for all I know.


USC 44 Oregon 17
ATS – USC
SU – USC

Texas Tech -7 @ Kansas State:

KSU’s Josh Freeman has been good this year, but Kansas State gave up 38 to a Louisville team that isn’t as good as they were a few years ago, and 37 to Louisiana Lafayette, who is Louisiana Lafayette. Tech rolls.

Texas Tech 41 Kansas State 24
ATS – Texas Tech
SU – Texas Tech

Missouri -11 @ Nebraska:

Nebraska coach Bo Pelini has said the goal is to shut out Missouri this week, which might be a good goal for SE Missouri State, but probably won’t work against the #2 scoring offense in America. Nebraska gave up 35 to a Virginia Tech team that ranks 108th in the country in total defense…not good foreshadowing.

Missouri 45 Nebraska 27
ATS – Missouri
SU – Missouri

Texas -13.5 @ Colorado:

The Buffs are giving up rushing yards like a mid-nineties Texas defense in their past two ballgames, so if the Texas rushing game is going to get healthy, this might be the game. Fozzy Whitaker might even play this game, which would be helpful against a Buffs defense that isn’t very fast.

Colorado also doesn’t blitz very much (only 14% of the time this year) so Colt McCoy doesn’t really have to worry about different looks and blitzers in his face.

On defense, the Longhorns lead the nation in sacks, and get to play a Colorado offensive line that has lost two starters since the beginning of the season and now start two freshmen in their place.

Colorado has talked this week about a break-out game for Darrell Scott, and have talked about trying to avenge the 70-3 loss the Horns put on them at the 2005 Big 12 Championship Game.

Good. Let them do the talking, and as Roy Miller said this week, “we’ll put our hands in the dirt” and let it do the talking.

Playing in Boulder at night scares me, but not as much as a Texas team loaded and with a Muschamp-like attitude should scare the Buffs.

Texas 44 Colorado 21
ATS – Texas
SU – Texas

Random Hot Dallas Chick



For entertainment purposes only. Save your money for the Darrell Scott Transfer Fund.